Dr. Ava Cadell is a clinical sexologist, media therapist, author of seven books and Founder of Loveology University. Dr. Ava says, "I am able to empower people all over the world to improve the quality of their love lives through loveologyuniversity.com where you can become a better lover, find Mr. or Ms. Right and enrich your relationship. You can find courses on everything you ever wanted to know about love, relationships, intimacy and sex." STDs Dear Dr. Ava Whats the truth about STDs? I've heard that something like 25% of all sexually active adults have some form of an STD. Can this be accurate?! If this is true, statistics dictate that I should have about six different kinds of venereal disease. Although your statistics don't appear to be accurate, the chances of acquiring an STD are high these days. In the United States, an estimated 15.3 million new cases of STDs occur each year, at least one-quarter of them among teenagers. The top 5 STDs are chlamydia, gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis, and hepatitis B. Your focus should not be on a statistic, but on overcoming the statistic by protecting yourself against STDs. If you're not in a monogamous relationship, avoid the exchange of bodily fluids and always wear a condom. Improve Sex Dear Dr. Ava To add some spice to our marriage this weekend, I brought a bottle of Hershey’s syrup into the bedroom, hoping my husband of 15 years would delight in licking it off me. But before I could make like a sundae, my hubby wondered aloud if the syrup could cause infection if it got inside me. Is chocolate sauce safe in the bedroom, and if not, what lickable food items would you recommend? First of all, I must congratulate you on taking the initiative to spice up your marriage with such creativity. However, your husband is right on the mark because chocolate inside the vagina could result in a nasty, itchy, painful infection. Don’t feel too bad though because you can still pour chocolate sauce all over your body and ask your husband to lick it off, but you can’t put it in your vagina. Here are a few facts about what can and cannot be used in that area. Do not insert foodstuffs which contain sugar, alcohol, or anything which contains seeds. The vagina is a dark, moist and warm passage in which yeasts and bacteria can grow. Am I scaring you yet? Even if you wanted to use a banana or a cucumber, a condom should always be used on them as a protection from bacteria. If in doubt leave it out! The vagina is actually the cleanest cavity in the body because it cleans itself and maintains a perfect ph balance. So what can you put inside the vagina that’s safe and feels good apart from your husband's pride and joy? You can insert appropriate sex toys (but keep them clean), and commercial lubricants that state on the label that they are safe for that area. Clean fingers with manicured nails are allowed, and of course an eager tongue. Tantra love Dear Dr. Ava I have heard a lot about Tantra love and sex, but not sure I understand what is really involved. My boyfriend and I think it might be something we'd be interested in, can you tell us more about it? Many people are unclear about what Tantra is and what it is not. Tantra is not a religion, a sexual cult, a new age spiritual philosophy, exhibitionism, swinging, or sex therapy. Tantra is a Sanskrit (ancient Hindu language) word that means to weave energy, specifically Yin (female) and Yang (male) energy, between two lovers. This energy includes our thoughts, feelings, and physical and sexual actions. There are several different kinds of Tantra, but we are going to focus on Red Tantra, which directs sexual energy to your lover. So I’d like to welcome you to a unique journey of sensual and sexual exploration that will prepare you for the 5,000 year old practice of Tantra. Tantra can help to heal a hurt relationship; it can break down defensive walls, improve intimate communication, and enhance a relationship that has lost its sizzle and spice. For women, Tantra can empower and fulfill their sensual needs; for men it can open up a whole new world to intimacy and it can give them the tools to become multi-orgasmic. For couples, it's an opportunity to create a more meaningful and intimate connection. So, get ready to explore new sexual territory, expand your ideas about your relationship, intimacy, and sex. To do this you will need to learn and experience all six of the essential Tantric elements: Breath, Movement, Muscle Lock, Sound, Intention, and Attention and to enjoy the journey of Tantra, rather than focusing on your immediate pleasure (climax). Achieving Tantric Bliss through the six elements of Tantra will take your relationship to a whole new physical, emotional and spiritual level. Here’s an opportunity for you to enjoy the quest for enlightenment together and become one with the Universe! There are ten important guidelines and ground rules for both of you to share with each other before you embark on your Tantra journey and they will enhance both of your experiences. 1. Be willing to explore new sexual territory. 2. Open your heart to your lover. 3. Be willing to let go of your ego. 4. Exchange and blend your Yin and Yang energy with your lover. 5. Enjoy the journey of lovemaking. It’s not about a goal. 6. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. You’ll be greatly rewarded!! 7. Be willing to trust yourself and your lover. 8. Have no expectations. 9. Make no judgments. 10. Be prepared to have fun!   Archives(Coming Soon)